


Off To The Races

by Impayton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Smut, HP: EWE, Harry has a snake, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Humor, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Parseltongue, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, because Joanne was wrong, draco is in glitter and leather, for soemtimes but fashion icon draco is a big part, harry and ginny are brotp, idk everything i write has some humor, lol i forgot to mention that fred isn't dead whoops yea hes alive, more tags will come just wait, yes the title is lana everytime i listen to her i think of draco and harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-24 04:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impayton/pseuds/Impayton
Summary: Harry just wanted to have fun and let loose for his final year before he was out in the real world. Enter student-teaching, a hero complex and one Draco Malfoy who seems to have both nothing and everything to prove and well, this year will probably be a bit different than what he expected.orThat one fic everyone wanted me to write about 8th year drarry with leather pants, glitter, and a snake.





	1. Ready For You

**Author's Note:**

> so again, this is not beta'd. This is also the most self indulgent thing I think i've ever written for anything. Harry's snake is this beauty http://www.reptilesmagazine.com/Care-Sheets/Rosy-Boa-Care-Sheet/ 
> 
> ps.If you want to follow me on tumblr im didyousaymaraudersormurder 
> 
> Hope you enjoy<3

"And then he went and-Harry? Hey Harry!” Jumping Harry quickly turned his head to where the voice had shouted his name, only to collide with another, quite freckley, face. Cursing loudly he rubbed at his now sore forehead before glaring at Ron, only feeling slightly better when he saw his friend cupping his nose.

"What Ronald.” Harry dropped his hand and continued to glare at the other man, who was still rubbing his nose but whose face now held a large grin.

"Well Harold, it would seem you zoned out again, are my stories not entertaining you.” Ron dropped his hand now, clapping Harry’s back. “You know Harry, I do try to keep this relationship interesting for you, tell me mate, are you not happy anymore.” Ron was putting on a grand show now, clutching his heart and batting his eyelashes, Harry couldn’t keep up the glare anymore and broke out in a matching grin.

"Sorry love, it would seem our spark went out many years ago, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.” He said in a simpering voice before continuing, “ I just don’t think we can continue on any longer.” Ron opened his mouth but before he could reply Hermione spoke up over them, having set her book aside to observe the two man show.

"Honestly boy’s please keep it down, I’m trying to finish this before we arrive.” She said in a stern voice, but both boys noticed the slight smirk she tried to keep from forming. Looking at each other both young men threw themselves at her. Harry landing with his head on her lap and Ron with his head on her shoulder, as if she was a therapist they needed to help comfort them.

"But Mione haven't you seen the Prophet, Harry here is right bent and was seen with a strapping young lad doing indecent things outside a bloody muggle club, how am I supposed to move on when my life partner is cheating on me with strangers.” He finished with a dramatic sob. Rolling her eyes Hermione looked down at Harry, already anticipating his response.

"Well Hermione, see while we are life partners our relationship is sexless, I’m a young man of 18 Hermione. I have needs. I-” Harry started before Ron interrupted, feigning a gasp.

"And what about my needs Harold Jameson Potter, hmmm, while you’re off getting your prick sucked I’m at home with our child! Our child! What will poor Heron say Harold, Think of the children.”

"If he didn’t like the prick sucking he sure wouldn’t want to hear about the bloody brilliant shag-” Again Harry was cut off, this time by Hermione clasping a hand around both Ron and Harry's mouths, before removing them and allowing the two to burst out laughing, rolling around.

"Children, both of you are children honestly.” Her words had no bite though since she also was laughing. The three of them continued to laugh for a few moments before Hermione turned to look back down at Harry with slight concern.

"Speaking of the Prophet Harry how are you doing?”

The truth was Harry was doing bloody brilliantly. Well, as brilliantly as one war hero turned public disappointment could be doing. About two days before the Prophet had dropped a bomb, front page, huge and at the very center, was Harry with his back to the wall and a slim, blonde man on his knees in front of him. The headline “Breaking News: Young, Brave and Bent” was plastered on every newspaper and magazine and well, Harry thought it was pretty funny. All his friends had already known about his sexual preference, what with him and Ginny breaking up after a long, long, extremely long talk. After that Ginny had promised to be behind Harry 100% and was by his side when he came out as bi, with a preference for men, to all of their friends and family. They had both agreed that they were better as best friends and that the pressure of the war and certain expectation had been why they had started dating in the first place. Everyone had taken it well and all agreed that all they wanted was their happiness. So, no one was exactly shocked when this happened, well Molly was and Harry had tried to prevent her from seeing that picture, apparating to the Burrow to tell her and Arthur to not read the Prophet for a while. What he was met with was a large group of redheads all leaning over one paper, Fred and George were holding their sides, tears running down their faces, Ginny and Ron hadn’t been much better. Molly had a scandalized look on her face and Arthur was trying to quickly take the paper from her. After they had realized his presence Harry had to endure an excruciating talk with both Molly and Arthur about safe sexual acts as well as different spells to use to ensure the safest, cleanest experience. To say it had been awkward would be an understatement, the only thing that had saved it was the fact that Ginny and Ron had to endure The Talk as well.

So yeah, Harry thought it was pretty funny, he was human, he was allowed to let loose and be a kid. He only wished that Alex hadn’t had to be involved, while they both agreed it was a one off thing the man was sweet and didn’t deserve the scandal that was Harry’s life. Luckily no one really knew who it was and Alex was pretty dead set on it staying that way, so all was pretty well on the regard. The only thing Harry would really say was bothering him was the constant letters. For some reason everyone felt they had a say on the situation and so Harry has been having to deal with all forms of letters. Some disappointed in him and how lude the pictures were, some telling him that they could “turn him straight”, some propositioning him and some that just wanted to congratulate him on being himself. The last were very few and far between but were the only ones Harry actually kept, reading them sometimes when everything else got a little bit to out of hand.

Looking up at Hermione Harry just held her hand and gave her a small smile, “Yeah Hermione I’m doing fine, if I wasn’t you know I’d tell you.” They both smiled at eachother before Harry turned to Ron, “ And you know you’ll always be my number one man.” Before blowing him a kiss.

Sighing and reaching out to catch the kiss Ron replied. “And you know if I even had an inkling of me liking prick I’d be on you in a second.” Hermione coughed and Ron turned his big, brown puppy eyes on her. “That is if I didn’t have Mione, who will always have my heart forever and ever and who might I say, is looking awfully beautiful in this light.” He finished with a kiss on her cheek. Rolling her eyes she turned to the watch she had on before looking back up.

"As much as I hate to break you two love birds up, Ronald and I have to go meet with all the prefects. We’ll meet up with you after okay Harry.” Lifting his head from off her lap Harry grinned.

"Of course, you guys go I’ll most likely take a nap while you’re gone.” And with one last air kiss to Harry, Ron grabbed Hermione's hand and they walked out of the compartment to the back of the train.

Laying down on the seat Harry felt movement in his pocket. He reached in and pulled out a small white snake. He had found her while window shopping in Diagon Alley and fell in love instantly. She was sweet and made him laugh constantly and Harry named her Rosy because she was a snow rosy boa. Putting the tiny snake on his chest he softly spoke to her, _**Hey you finally woke up?**_

The tiny snake, settled in on his chest before replying, ** _With all the racket going on how was I supposed to sleep. Your Ron is quite loud when he laughs._**

 Chuckling Harry pet her head. **_Sorry your majesty go back to sleep, Ron and Hermione went to go do their headboy and girl duties and we still have a while till we make it to the castle._**  And with that they both drifted off to sleep for the remainder of the train ride.

                  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Bang*Bang*Bang*

Harry startled awake, lifting up before he remembered the small creature currently residing on his chest. Before she could fall he put a hand up to his stomach to catch her. She hissed at him before going back to sleep, not worried about the loud banging that was still happening. Looking at the door Harry saw Ginny with her face smashed to the window. She was making faces while Seamus banged on the side. Once they got his attention Seamus yelled, “Bout time ya woke up Harry, get your lazy bum up, we’re here.” Swiftly standing Harry put Rosy in his jacket pocket and went to grab his trunk. Once he gathered all of his belongings him, Seamus, Dean and Ginny walked off the train together. The first thing Harry noticed when he stepped off the train was the Prefects rounding up first years, many of which were scared of the dark horses that were getting far more attention than they usually got. Many of the older students already knew what they are, but a few did stop and look, their first time actually seeing them in person. Harry and his friends continued on, Seamus and Dean talking about the beautiful if not terrifying creatures before they found Ron and Hermione already in a carriage with Luna and Neville. While on their way up to the castle they all talked and caught up, everyone steering clear from the Prophet article although Harry could tell they wanted to bring it up. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before looking at Dean.

"Go ahead, ask, I know it’s killing you not too.” He said with a sharp smirk, watching as Seamus practically vibrated in his seat. Dean chuckled before shaking his head.

"I don’t really have any questions Harry sorry, but Seamus here, well, he’s got a few.” and before anyone could ask him Seamus was on a roll.

Once the carriage stopped, and Harry had answered all of Seamus’s questions, everyone got out and looked around. The castle looked better than it had before everyone left, yet walls were still crumbling and towers were still destroyed. No one asked the question everyone was thinking, the “will there be more ghost at dinner” question the “who will we see, who came back, who survived.” question. No they all just took in the castle, grabbed their trunks and headed through the door. Once in they all went their separate ways to get settled in before the welcome dinner. It was being held slightly later than usual, due to what McGonagall called “technicalities”. The returning 8th years were held in a separate tower, not very many returned so a few people in a room worked nicely. Ron and Harry picked a room and started moving all their stuff in. Once the boys got settled in it was about time to head down to dinner. Ron and Harry went down to meet up with Hermione and the three of them set off to the Great Hall.

"What do you think the so called “technicalities” were” Ron asked loudly once they were seated, causing a few students to turn their heads. Harry didn’t hear Hermione's reply as he looked around the Great Hall. It looked just as it did in his first year, grand and beautiful. Candles were floating everywhere and the ceiling displade a clear, beautiful, star filled night. Looking around Harry noticed many familiar faces, most students in the younger years had returned it seemed, although it was obvious that the 6th years and 7th years were lacking quite a few students than they originally were. No one could forget the list of names read after the end of the war, the never ending list that seemed to go on forever. Most people heard the list, cried and moved on, but not Harry. It’s hard to forget the list when you attended every name on that list’s funeral. Hard to forget a name when you’ve held their mother, or their father, or their siblings while they cried, still somehow finding a way to thank you. No it’s pretty damn impossible to not be able to cite every child who lost their life fighting a war that should never of happened. And if Harry didn’t have to go to another funeral for a 1000 years it still be too soon. A lot of people were shocked when Harry said he’d be going back for his 8th year. Most thinking he’d just go straight to the aurors, they were even more shocked when Ron decided to join him, although they shouldn’t of been, he was already thinking of going back anyway, for Hermione, Harry was just the tip of the iceberg. Harry never exactly told anyone why he wanted to go back, why he needed to go back. Hermione assumed it was to prove himself, that he didn’t want his scar and his war hero status to carry him through life, which is true. Ron thought that maybe he just wanted a year of no real stress, just a year to be young and dumb, which was also true. But the main reason Harry came back, really the only reason he did, was the fact that he could go back. The fact that he was still living, still breathing. That he was physically able to do it, well he felt it be selfish not too. So he’s here for all the kids who couldn’t make it this year, all the kids who fought for there to still even be a Hogwarts to return too. And when he graduates, well who knows what he’ll do. He hasn’t told Ron that he doesn't think the aurors are for him yet, although he feels Ron might already know, contrary to popular belief he’s pretty good at knowing that kind of stuff. Harry is just going to take this year to learn about himself, say yes to new experiences and all the jazz that Ginny is always on about. Feeling a hand on his shoulder Harry turned to Ron who directed his attention to the front of the room. McGonagall had taken her position and was waiting for everyone to quiet down before speaking.

"Thank you all for being so patient with us tonight, we’ve had a few bumps but I assure you everything has been sorted out and taken care of. Now onto business, this year we have the odd situation of having 8th year students. You are all adults, therefore you will be treated as such. You can leave the school at any time, as long as you maintain your responsibilities and refrain from getting into any trouble.” She paused and sent a sharp look to Ron, Hermione and finally Harry, who smiled and waved. Shaking her head with a small chuckle she continued. “As 8th years your classes will also be different, you were all given a comprehension test at the beginning of the summer, all of which you passed. Now in light of recent events I personally believe you all deserve the excellent marks you were given, yet the ministry does not agree. So in order to earn your credits you will each pick a class to help in, it may be any class- well let me rephrase that, it may be any class you excel in. You will each be given a sheet that holds a list of classes I believe would suit you, if you have any questions stop by my office. The reason myself and the professors have decided on this is that you each have a great gift, and this will allow you to houn in on that gift. We are also heavily understaffed at the moment, and because of your help you will be given an excellent recommendation to whatever job you wish to pursue in the future. Now, let's move onto the sorting shall we,” and with that she clapped her hands and the sorting began.

"This is bloody brilliant mate, no classes, no homework, easiest year yet!” Ron whispered excitedly into his ear. Looking around Harry saw all the other 8th years also excitedly talking, even the Slytherins, who now that Harry looked, had the fewest returning students. The only 8th years to have returned were Pansy, Blaise, Theo and- well that must’ve been it, although Harry knows for a fact he read that a certain blonde haired, grey eyed pain in his arse would be returning also. Now that he thinks about it, Harry hadn’t heard much about Malfoy since his trial. Hell, now that he really thinks about it, no one had heard much about the ferret since his trial. Only that after Harry helped set him free of charges he went off the deep end for a while, completely isolated himself.

Just at that moment the Great Hall door opened, all noise in the room stopped, even McGonagall, as all eyes turned towards the figure in the doorway. As Harry’s eyes took in who exactly was right there, all he could do was stare. _Speak of the devil and he will arrive._

Stepping away from the sorting hat McGonagall clapped her hands again, this time with more force. “Ah Mr. Malfoy, thank you for finally joining us, now go take your seat thank you.”

And well, all Harry could see was glitter.


	2. Be a Good Baby part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry really just wanted to have a chill year but of course Malfoy had to be up to something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea so sorry for the long wait but I had finals and all that but luckily I'm off all summer now! Again not beta so if it sucks sorry and I hope y'all enjoy

It’s funny how you can think you know someone for most of your life and all it takes is a pair of pants so tight it’s a sin and some glitter to turn your world upside down. See Harry had always thought of Malfoy as cold, like the horrid blizzards during winter, always saw him in the biting chill of the wind and the dark gloomy skies. But watching him walk across the Great Hall, well, Harry realized just how wrong he was. Malfoy wasn’t cold, he was hot. He was like the sun, not warm, no that wasn't him, but blinding, scalding, burning. He was a dying star. Burning so bright up until it explodes, taking everything with it. And Harry, well he just couldn’t seem to look away. Even days later, even after Malfoy locked himself somewhere, Harry still couldn’t stop thinking about him. Ron said that he always knew Malfoy would be the reason he lost his mind, saying it was bound to happen at some point. Hermione on the other hand was dead set that Harry was just “attracted” to Malfoy. Going on about how the line between love and lust and hate were all very thin and how she always knew there was something there. Harry thought they were both out of line, Malfoy was just up to something again and Harry just had to know what. Between his knew found muggle attire and his, even stranger, attitude not to mention how he’s apologized to basically everyone in their year besides Harry, well, he was just acting weird and Harry was determined to know why. **The pretty human is not up to anything My Boy.** Blinking Harry looked down at Rosy who was curled in a ball on his chest. He rolled his eyes and sat his head back down on the bed, before looking around. The room him and Ron had taken was simple. Just two beds, two desk and a big window looking out over the grounds. The room was decorated in reds and golds and had a Gryffindor banner hanging on the wall next to the door. Rosy said the colors were horrendous, Harry just laughed.

**He is up to something Roe, and I already told you not to call him that.**  And well, if snakes could roll their eyes Harry is sure Rosy’s would've fallen right out a long time ago. She was under the same impression as Hermione, saying how “humans are strange with their inability to discuss and act upon their longing” or something along those lines. It irritated Harry to no end. {He’s apologized to absolutely everyone in our year except me, even Ron, and Ginny told me this morning that he’s apparently now moved on to 7th years and under.} The other day Ron had shown up to the commons area, eyes wide and a blush staining his cheeks. Sitting down he stammered out how Malfoy had cornered him in the library to “discuss their past animosity” and to apologize for his behavior and the way he treated him and his family. That was when Hermione had let out that the day before Malfoy had done almost the exact same thing, apologizing for how he treated her and telling her it was due mostly to jealousy. It wasn’t that Harry wanted Malfoy to apologize to him, considering how their fights were partly his fault as well, he just found it strange that he hadn’t approached him yet.

**Maybe he just has not gotten around to it, maybe he has actually been doing what madam McGonagall has asked of you all. Have you decided which professor you would like to work along side with this year?**  Slithering down from his chest Rosy came up his side, resting her face on his. Despite what Rosy and Hermione say Harry has given it a lot of thought. Everyone assumed he’d do DADA, but honestly Harry has had enough run ins with the Dark Arts to last him a lifetime. Him and Ron discussed it last night, Ron being disappointed that he wouldn’t be working alongside Harry but understanding his need for a break. They went through all the possibilities before stopping on one, and in all honesty Harry isn’t sure how he hadn’t thought of it before. He was going to work with Hagrid and help him not only with Care of Magical Creatures but also just with anything that needed to be done around Hogwarts. Over the summer Harry had come to really appreciate both magical as well as non magical creatures. Rosy was the main reason he even was able to get through the first weeks after the war, and well Harry loved Hogwarts, saw it as his home and he wanted to help fix her and put her back together. Not to mention hanging out with Hagrid sounded like loads of fun and it beat sitting inside all day. He had actually went and talked to McGonagall earlier that day, making it official, and to say Hagrid had been absolutely ecstatic would be an understatement.

**Actually I’ve already decided on what to do and went to go make it official earlier while you were asleep, I’ll be working with other creatures, magical creatures.** Bringing up his finger to rub her head he smiled when she leaned into the touch.

**You are wonderful with me My Boy I am sure you will excel in caring for others as well. Although I must remind you that I shall always be your favorite.**

**Ah don’t get jealous Roe you know I love you most.**  He chuckled, still rubbing her head. They both settled into a comfortable silence, eyes drifting closed and breathing evening out.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Working with Hagrid was probably one of the best decisions Harry has made in his life. It was only the third day in but already Harry was absolutely loving it. Right now he was helping Hagrid with work around Hogwarts, Hagrid was in the castle, fixing up some things, while Harry was outside chopping and hauling wood to the Hut. He could be using magic but Harry found that doing it the muggle way was great for keeping his mind and hands busy. The last couple days have been absolute chaos, what with everyone picking where they'll be working for the year and helping the professors get ready for classes, none of them have had much time to themselves. That’s why Harry liked working with the half giant so much, most of the time Hagrid was busy either going into the forest or working with the creatures that he left Harry alone to do most of the grounds work, giving Harry some much needed alone time to just think. From what he could tell everyone else really liked their positions as well, Neville surprised no one when he said he’d be working alongside Professor Sprout. Dean, Seamus and Ron would be taking over the DADA department considering they still didn’t have a professor, what with everyone still being wary of the position, and Hermione was working alongside Professor McGonagall, helping in both Transfiguration as well as her Headmistress duties, acting as an assistant of sorts. Chuckling to himself Harry thought about what Dean, Seamus and Ron were up too, he’d have to sit in on a lesson one day because that was something he thinks he wouldn’t want to miss.

Wiping his forehead Harry decided to take a short break, it was midday and the sun was beating down on his already tan skin, he had removed his shirt earlier, and he could feel a slight sunburn beginning to form. Setting down the ax he turned to the castle ready to go in and get some water and food from the kitchen, when he caught sight of Malfoy leaning against one of the trees next to the Hut, staring him down. Swallowing, he was not nervous okay it was just that he was slightly more vulnerable than Malfoy right now what with him missing both his shirt and wand, Harry started to walk over to him. Still not moving Malfoy just raised one perfect eyebrow, and looking him over Harry realized that just about everything on Malfoy was perfect, from his flannel falling off his slender shoulders, to the loose white t-shirt showing off his collarbones to the tight, oh so very tight, black pants he- no, no he was going to stop that train of thought right now, Malfoy was definitely up to something and Harry was going to find out what, distracting collarbone be damned. So putting on his bravest, most intimidating face, Harry marched over to the blonde, caging him in with his arms once he got close enough.

"The hell you want Malfoy” He growled, not knowing exactly why he was suddenly so pissed off at the other man, just knowing he was.

"Well hello to you too Potter, long time no see.” The blonde smirked, looking Harry over before meeting his eyes again. “May I ask why exactly you’ve decided to trap me against this tree?” He drawled.

"I know you’re up to something, you may of fooled everyone else with this apology trip you’ve been going on but it’s not going to work for me.” Leaning in closer Harry continued, “I can promise you that.”

Still smirking, and hell if Harry didn’t want to punch it right off of his face, Malfoy replied in a too sweet voice, “Well it’s awfully lucky of me that I wasn’t here to apologize then right Potter.” Raising his hand he grabbed Harry’s arm, twisting them so Harry was the one pinned to the tree. Taking advantage of the daze the other man was in he continued on, leaning in even closer, “See Slughorn, the complete imbecile, forgot to stock his storage supplies and I need help finding the things on this list,” pausing he reached into the oh so tight pants before producing a list and shoving it at Harry, “Hagrid told me I could find you out here and you could help me look for these ingredients, seeing as I’d have to go into the big, dark, scary forest all by myself.” He finished, batting his eyes.

"Go to hell Malfoy” Harry growled again, breaking free and stepping away.

"Already been Potter, now can you help me or not, I’ll even say please if you want.” He rolled his eyes, god Harry hated him, but he could hear desperation in his voice, and realizing Malfoy wouldn’t of come to him unless he really needed too, Harry sighed before giving in.

"Fuck, fine but if you kill me in the damn forest I’m going to haunt your ass.” He sighed out while he turned to go grab his shirt. Following behind him Malfoy touched his arm, looking back Harry noticed a water bottle in the blonde's hand.

"Here, don’t act weird about it, but Hagrid said you haven't taken a break so I brought you this, not because I care or anything I just didn’t want you passing out and leaving me stranded.” Malfoy rambled, cheeks turning pink while he shrugged his shoulders, making the flannel fall down. Harry had to stop himself from reaching out and touching the now exposed skin of his shoulder, shaking his head he accepted the water, muttering out a thanks before taking a sip and putting his shirt back on, he thought he heard Malfoy let out a sigh but when he turned the other man was facing the forest.

Once Harry was clothed and retrieved his wand from the Hut the two started out into the forest, not knowing what exactly was in their waiting for them.


End file.
